I'm tired all the time

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It's the Thursday update but on a Friday! Making my intention for the week "slow down and focus on what sparks joy" was honestly a total dick move on my part.

Because as soon as I did that, I realized that my recent obsession with trivial business issues was just a cover-up for a deeper grief over the loss of in-person social interaction.

Before COVID, I was going to at least 3 networking events per week. I worked in a lively and highly trafficked co-working space downstairs from my husband's office where several friends also worked. We hosted parties at our house regularly, and had frequent hang outs with other people.

I've always been the kind of person who thrives on being near people, and while not being able to hang out with my friends has been a small price to pay to ensure we don't spread the virus, it's also been a very difficult. I'm tired all the time. I look around at all the tables and chairs in our house that used to have people in and around them and now they're just a reminder that no one's coming back here for awhile.

I've been minimizing and shoving down this grief for such a long time, but this week, I finally gave myself the space to express it, and a lot of big emotion came out. Which is a relief, and I feel better, but man it sucked in the moment.

~ M ~